What I’ve come to realize is you’ll never be able to get with the typical men/women
(I so wanted to use other word for men so use your imagination and work with me)
For a while I was living in a bubble, I didn’t know so much stigma was still around when it came to HIV/AIDS. I guess I assumed that with the advancement in medications would mean society’s knowledge about the disease would also advance.
Well since I've been back out on the market(I’m single) I can tell you most men I've come across are not checking for the chick with AIDS.
Now I’m not promoting sex just want to break the science down for you.
Women can get HIV via vaginal sex more easily than men because the vagina has a larger area which can be exposed to HIV compared to the penis.
With nature men are the givers and women are the receivers, which is also applied to sex. A penis does not take fluids in, when it comes to HIV there has to be a point of entry, a cut or a sore or even a wound for the vaginal fluids to enter. The penis is made to ejaculate while the vagina for consuming. That is one of the many reason why women have a higher rate of HIV infection when speaking in terms of heterosexual sexually activity people. Now if we were to speak about anal sex that is a different story. Penetration can tear the tissue inside the anus, allowing bacteria and viruses to enter the bloodstream. Studies have suggested that anal exposure to HIV poses 30 times more risk for the receptive partner than vaginal exposure.
Now I stated all that because most times a man approaches you because he finds you attractive, once a man hears your status unless he works in the world of HIV/AIDS or HIV/AIDS closely affect him in someway he thinks all bets are off when it comes to sex which is not the case. Most cases the first question when getting to know someone is what do you do for a living, when I state I’m an HIV activist the follow up question is how did I get into this field.
At this point and time I’m currently practicing abstinence so sex isn't the first thing I’m thinking about, I've even gone as far as saying I won’t have sex again til I’m married. I REALLY want to stick to that but I’m human, I want to wait til marriage because I believe in something called soul ties. Very deep and a little too complicated to explain here, well today.
Now I've been in relationships before had positive and negative experiences if you seen “Oprah’s Where Are They Now” you heard a brief part of the negative experience.( If you did not see the update I’ll post the link at the bottom of this blog). The positive relationship leads me to say my status has not always hindered me from being in a relationship.
I decided to write this blog because I've been thinking about my own situation and maybe where I've been getting it wrong. At this point I’m so over being stuck in the friend zone, I think I've been focusing my attention on the wrong type of men. So this might go out to other women who are HIV positive. Now I’m an around the way kind of girl, grew up in the inner city of North Las Vegas (yes we have hoods, shout to NORTH TOWN). So I guess in some aspects I’m attracted to the urban man. He likes nice cars with rims, the tims and sometimes takes part in hood activities. Now I've had enough bad experiences to know to stay away from the street active urban man, I do currently aim for men with high ambition who are currently working towards their goals and sometimes has to put a suit on but none the less somewhere in that category is the men who catches my eye.
Now when I look at my friends who are living with HIV/AIDS and have successful relationships their men or women are not typical at all. They think outside the box, they are men/women who have taken up some type of social issue or are passionate about something other than what’s trendy or common. They are men/women who don’t see everything black and white; they are thinkers who look at everything objectively. They are also not the types who are image concerned, or care too much about the typical things the urban men/women does. I’m not referencing race here just characteristics. The man/women you date would have to be someone who would be willing to be open minded and take the time to do the search and learn more.
With advancement in treatment and medications it is possible for me and others to get married have sex& produce children without passing HIV on. You just need to be aware of your partner’s status upfront in order to be safe and aware.
So keep hope alive you will find love my fellow soldiers
Anundetectable viral load reduces the likelihood of transmission by 96 percent